The Relationships Way


The Relationships Way30 May 2008 03:23 am


In the next six months, my son, daughter, and
grandson are all getting married. Our family is
spread across Ontario and the United States,
so I’m thankful to be living in the computer
generation. Wedding plans without the
advantage of the Internet and email would
be a long, difficult process.


To get my point across, let’s visit the homes
of Miss Modern and Miss Pre-Computer as
they prepare for their special days:


Miss Modern has an idea of the venue she
would like for her wedding and spends an
evening researching on the Internet. She
looks at pictures of different halls, along
with prices, menus, and features
included. After deciding on three
possibilities, she emails to ask if they
would be available on the wedding date.
One hall is booked, so Miss M. and her
fiance will go to see both halls and make
a final decision. Communication and menu
changes are done by email.


Miss M. designs a database for her guest
list. Additions and changes are easily made.
Invitations are created using special
wedding software and elegant blank cards.
Easy, attractive and inexpensive.


Again using the database and a signature
font, Miss M. creates mailing labels (using
transparent labels) for 200 people in less
than an hour. To create personalized reply
cards, she uses mail merge and the computer
inserts names on each card.


A relative in another country would like
photos of the couple for a special wedding
gift. Using a digital camera, the photos
are taken and emailed in plenty of time
for the gift to be made.


There are constant questions from the
guests about accommodation nearby, what
is everyone wearing, what do the young
couple need? Emails answer many of the
questions and guests are given a website
for the bridal registry. Items still needed
are listed here, can be purchased without
leaving home and will be delivered to the
reception. This is a big help to people
coming from a distance.


Miss Modern relaxes while she and her
future husband look at honeymoon spots
- on the Internet of course!



Miss Pre- Computer, on the other hand,
has had a headache for days. Too many
things to do and not enough time.
After weekends spent looking at
various halls, she and her fiance can’t
take it any longer and book the next
one they visit.


The guest list has been typed out, but
some important people were missed and
there are duplicates on the list. Miss
Pre-C is not a fast typist when she’s
stressed, so has to re-do the 200 guest
list a number of times before it’s right.


Her days are constantly interrupted by
phone calls from guests with questions
about the wedding. The long distance
bill is growing every day.


A friend recommends a good printer
for invitations, but he is out of town,
and another search begins.
The invitations are beautiful, so
Miss Pre-C begins addressing the
200 envelopes. Never praised for
her handwriting, the last of the
envelopes is barely readable. She
decides to try again tomorrow.


Relatives need pictures of the couple
for a special gift. The photos are
mailed and after frantic calls to the
post office, are finally delivered, too
late to use.


More long distance calls so gifts aren’t
duplicated.


A frantic call from Gramma at the border.
Customs officials are questioning her and
are taking apart the gifts. Through her
tears, Gramma explains that the 50 items
had been individually wrapped.


Miss Pre-C takes a deep breath and
considers eloping.



P.S. If you still need convincing, my son
met his future bride on the Internet!



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The Relationships Way24 Apr 2008 12:07 pm

Such a dilemma!

You don’t want to consult the temple medium or fortune teller for an auspicious wedding date. But you need to select one quickly to please your parents.

Perhaps you think it is too superstitious to believe a date will have any effect on your wedded bliss.

But your parents are not. They think it is most important that they select an auspicious date to ensure a successful marriage for you. They feel you are ungracious for objecting to their kind intentions.

How about using the chinese calendar to select an auspicious wedding date.

As a compromise, you can use the chinese calendar to select the auspicious dates.

Usually, the chinese calendar contains:
- top, showing the Gregorian month,
- body, showing the Gregorian date,
- middle, showing the chinese date and the day of the week, and
- bottom, showing the fengshui/chinese astrology information.

Basic terminology for chinese wedding events

(Note: To read the chinese characters below properly, make sure your browser’s character encoding is set to auto detect for chinese/simplified chinese/traditional chinese characters.)

These are the terminology you need to know for finding the respective auspicious dates,
嫁娶 - for wedding day
结婚纳彩/采 - for the betrothal
安床 - for installing the bridal bed

Auspicious rating:
宜(yi) - good for
忌(Ji) - bad for / to avoid
吉(Ji) - auspicious timing
中(zhong)- neutral timing
凶(xiong)- fierce/ bad timing

Choosing the auspicious date

2 ways to go about it:
a) choose the Gregorian date, then check if it is auspicious, or
b) find all the auspicious chinese dates, then decide on the Gregorian dates within these.

To determine if the date is auspicious, read the sub-sections, titled 宜(yi) which list the favorable activities for the day, and 忌(Ji), activities to be avoided.

Locate the corresponding term for wedding event Wedding day 嫁娶, Betrothal 结婚纳彩/采 or install bridal bed 安床 under 宜 or 忌. If found under 宜, it’s a good date for that event, if 忌, don’t select that date. The date is neutral for that event if nothing is mentioned.

Important note:
Certain days are not favorable for all joyous events and are listed as “不宜诸吉事” under the 宜 section. For such an unfavorable day, the 忌 section will also list 吉事 meaning to avoid any joyous events.

Check the auspicious timing

Some people also want an auspicious timing for events such as fetching the bride and entering the groom’s home. Check the auspicious rating under “今天时辰吉凶”. The timings are listed as 吉 auspicious timing, 中 neutral timing and 凶fierce/ bad timing. Choose those that are 吉 or 中 and avoid timing listed as 凶.

The chinese timing are divided into 12 period, each 2 hours long. The chinese day commence at 11 pm the night before. These are the corresponding time:

子(zi) 11pm to 1 am
丑(chou) 1am to 3 am
寅(yin) 3am to 5 am
卯(mao) 5am to 7am
辰(chen) 7am to 9am
巳(si) 9am to 11am
午(wu) 11am to 1pm
未(wei) 1pm to 3pm
申(shen) 3pm to 5pm
酉(you) 5pm to 7pm
戌(xu) 7pm to 9pm
亥(hai) 9pm to 11pm

What about chinese horoscope?

The chinese horoscope that “clashes” on that date is listed with the age under a section titled 每日相煞. Under 生年相冲 the other years of the same horoscope that also “clashes” is listed.

_________________________________________________________________

Jina Boo is the editor of http://www.chinese-wedding-guide.com , a website dedicated to preserving chinese wedding customs and culture. The website features:
- significance of chinese wedding customs and traditions,
- the items and persons needed to perform them, and
- suggested timeframe for preparation of chinese wedding.

A guide for drafting your own chinese wedding invitation and addressing the envelopes is also included.

Click here to learn more about selecting an auspicious date with a chinese calendar.

The Relationships Way22 Apr 2008 01:41 pm

Preparing for a wedding is a time of celebration and memories. The tradition of giving guest favors or small gifts lives on as a way to thank them for sharing in your special day. Some favors are used as part of the wedding decorations and then taken home by the guests at the end of the reception.

Other favors are useful items that will give the guests something they will use over and over and with each use will remind them of your wedding. Some of the most popular favors are candy, usually packaged creatively. Choosing a favor can be difficult, but if you figure out what type of favor you would like it can make it easier.

Giving favors a double meaning by using them as part of the decorations saves money and space. Table toppers such as candles, flowers, and glasses will be incorporated into the table decorations. Items like these can be personalized with the couple’s names and wedding date to make them a treasured keepsake.

Some other decoration favor ideas include mini salt and pepper shakers, origami animals, and napkin rings. All of these will help add to the table decor and then be easily taken by the guests when they leave. Another idea that has been showing up at recent weddings is what is called a breakaway centerpiece. These centerpieces are made up of the individual favors. Usually they are either gift wrapped boxes stacked or small vases with flowers clustered together. You can use your imagination. Using favors as decorations will help you to get two things done at once. You will be able to give your guests a nice gift while also saving yourself some hassle.

Guests always appreciate a wedding favor they can use again and again. These favors can also be personalized to reflect the couples names and wedding date. To save money you can go to wholesalers that supply businesses with promotional items. These are usually things that are useful and you are sure to find something that will tie into your wedding. You could find pairs of chopsticks, paperweights, notepads, bookmarks or keyrings in the wholesale catalogs. Other useful items include wine bottle stoppers, candles, soaps, tea bags, mugs or small plants. Try to find something that will be of use to your guests as well as look good with your reception decorations.

Food items are on of the easiest wedding favors you can give. It is simple and inexpensive to buy candy or nuts in bulk, then put them in simple packages to give your guests. You will find guests like food items because it is something they can use and also something that will not need a special place in their home. Some gifts, like plants, can require work that your guests may not want to do. Candy or nuts is something that will show your appreciation and bring a little joy to your guests. You can use creative packaging and the actual colors of the candies/nuts to tie them into your wedding decorations. Food favors are always welcome and easy to do.

Choosing favors for your wedding only add to the many choices you have to make. It doesn’t have to be difficult or time consuming if you try to keep it simple. Make your favors part of the decor, something useful or a food item. Sticking to easy favors will help eliminate large amounts of time and money being spent on them allowing you to focus on other things.

Joe Palladino who is an established owner of an online wedding favors and bridal shower favors boutique located at http://www.HerWeddingFavors.com.